just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
