I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
