I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Thank you for not boning my boss.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
