If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just had sex on a roof
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
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