She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
