woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
