She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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