I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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