I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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