I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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