im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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