i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
