We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
