yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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