You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
