Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
