How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
