Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
