Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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