So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
