If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
