i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
