loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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