me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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