We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
