First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
