Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
