My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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