Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
