We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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