Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
