Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
