I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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