i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think I won the penis lottery.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You may now shotgun with the bride
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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