he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
