He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
