don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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