So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
