I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
