All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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