What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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