I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
