remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
