ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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