i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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