The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
