it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
