When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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