I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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