This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
